Thank You for Breaking my Heart, Thank You 2016

  

2016 has been a crazy rollercoaster ride! Last year I received a lot of blessings for my blogging career, been to many places here in the Philippines and even abroad. I even got invited for a media trip for the Ministry of Tourism of Indonesia and Jerusalem. I also met a lot of amazing bloggers and influencers on joining these numerous media trips. I gained a lot of friends and these new friends became my close friends.

Recently, me and my child’s father separate our ways. Since I had a miscarriage on 2012 our relationship became weak, we always fight even to small things, and because of that, I suffer from depression and panic attacks. I needed to see a doctor because of this and if I don’t I would have been in a mental institution that time. I have to be well for my kid and I have to be strong for her.

Last November 2016, it was the most painful and chaotic time of my life! We finally decided to separate ways and just be civil for our child. I told him “How can you do this to me and to our child?” It’s not only I feel betrayed and at the same time insulted! I always asked myself  “What have I done to make him cheat?” “Am I not pretty enough so he has to look for other women?” “Maybe I’m not good enough for him?” These are the questions that kept playing in my head over and over again. Been having insomnia because of this, I started smoking a cigarette again because I am always having anxiety and I am always crying, I became very irritated easily with other people.

Because of this, I am no longer healthy – physically, mentally and emotionally. I am BREAKING INTO PIECES!  But I can not be like this forever, I can not keep on crying every day and every night of my life! I have to be well and be strong for my 6-yr old kid. I have to show her that Mommy is ok and happy, but how? how do I start healing? HOW?!!!!!

My child, my parents, my sister, my close cousins, and friends have been my strength and my source of happiness. All they can do is listen to me, give advice and be there for me. 

Thank you, Mama, Papa, Steph, Gael, Maff, Icel, Mares Dyosa, Mhay, Vina and to my Team Philippines – Trisha, Gael, Vins, Ken, Jelits, Aleah and Sarah! Thank you for reminding me to be strong and pray harder. Thank you for listening to me over and over again! Thank you for everything! 

I am still in the process of HEALING. Traveling keeps me sane and happy! So I am starting my 2017 in traveling my home country – Philippines. I am still on my journey on visiting all 81 provinces in the Philippines. Wish me luck people!